Prove that hormones have the following effects on the body

• 
  stimulation or inhibition of growth;
  
• 
  mood swings;
  
• 
  induction or suppression of apoptosis (programmed cell death);
  
• 
  activation or inhibition of the immune system;
  
• 
  regulation of metabolism;
  
• 
  preparation of the body for mating, fighting, fleeing, and other activity;
  
• 
  preparation of the body for a new phase of life, such as puberty, parenting, and menopause;
  
• 
  control of the reproductive cycle;
  
• 
  hunger cravings.
  

University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each, within 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) gained weight;

2) talked excessively without making sense;

3) became overly emotional;

4) couldn’t drive;

5) failed to think rationally;

6) argued over nothing;

7) had to sit down while urinating;

8) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

No further testing is planned.